A baby girl born tonight at home. She is beautiful and shares a name with me. This is the first time a client has named a baby after me. Me and my apprentice share a name, which is quite funny to most people. But even funnier (or more embarrassing) are the number of times we actually show up to appointments dressed alike. We've even had a client ask if this was our "uniform". So the sweet baby girl is named after me and my apprentice, and a family member. Pretty cool stuff!
I've had some insomnia the last few nights. I suffer from this occasionally. Usually when I'm in the midst of it I feel incredibly frustrated and don't know why I'm fretting about a bunch of nonsense when I just want to go to sleep. But eventually I can attribute the insomnia to something and this helps to resolve it. I realized that since it's been 6 months of being off call I was anxious about being back on call. But mostly I was anxious that my apprentice is out of town this weekend and I have to rely on another apprentice who I don't know at all. There is a lot of trust that happens at birth, and I depend on the person who's at my side. I need to have complete trust in her skills and understanding of birth. And since one of the last births I attended 6 months ago was a full resuscitation and did not have a good outcome I was left with some trauma to process. I carried these anxieties with me as I tried to sleep each night.
After 6 months off call, I am grateful for the peace I felt from the moment I entered the birthing environment. I knew that the past was left behind. The room was filled with support, love, patience and trust. I missed my apprentice dearly, but all went well without her and I am grateful for the presence of the woman who attended this birth with me. And as always, I am grateful for the parents who trust me to enter the sacred space when their babies enter this world!
Now I am looking forward to sleeping like a baby tonight!
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