I'm going to Haiti.

Freaking out!!

And Excited!!

It looks like I'm going to Haiti the end of March. 

I've got connections with family to get an airline ticket. 

I'll be going with a friend. 

And I'll be there for two weeks. 

I'm hoping for safe travels,

many births,

ease of communication,

growth 

and

compassion.

I will keep you posted!

I Made My Own Deodorant!

I stopped wearing antiperspirant many years ago. I've been wearing a natural deodorant that I like, but it does not stop the wetness and odor as well as I'd like. For heavy duty days I do turn to my Dry Idea. Though even that doesn't seem to do the job anymore!

While researching recipes online to make my own shampoo (more on that later) I found several for deodorant. I finally am giving it a try.

Here is the recipe:

1 part baking soda

3 parts corn starch

essential oil

optional: coconut oil

Mix all ingredients and store in an airtight container. If you choose to add the coconut oil, add enough to moisten the ingredients. You may place in a deodorant container for ease of application. I just put mine in a container and scrape out about a pea size for each underarm.

I made it both ways to see which I liked best. I like the one with the oil because it's easier to apply. The dry ingredients get spilled on the counter and floor (think baby powder!). I am loving my new deodorant. I think it is as good as, if not better than the stuff I have been using. It does not stop perspiration. But I do think my odor is improved. I make Mario smell my pits every once in awhile to make sure!

Here is the Shampoo I've been using for awhile:

1 part baking soda to 3 parts water. Place in bottle and shake well before using. Apply liberally to dry hair. Massage into scalp and leave in for 1-2 minutes. Rinse well. Follow up with hair rinse.

Hair Rinse:

1 part vinegar to 3 parts water. Optional: essential oil. Place in bottle and shake well before using. Apply to hair and rinse immediately.

I was using essential oil in the hair rinse, but I stopped because I felt that the scent was overpowered by the vinegar. Your hair will smell like vinegar after rinsing, but it seems to disappear as your hair dries. 

I do love this shampoo, but I alternate using it with regular shampoo occasionally. I don't know why. I guess the idea that I "should" be using shampoo once in awhile. I just found some more recipes that seem a little more traditional. They are on my to-do list and I'll update after I try them out.

Here is a recipe that I will probably try:

Combine

• ¹/₄ cup distilled water
• ¹/₄ cup liquid Castile Soap - I use unscented, but you can choose your favorite
• 2 tsp jojoba oil, grape seed oil, or other light vegetable oil
• ¹/₈ tsp peppermint essential oil
• ¹/₈ tsp tea tree essential oil

Mix all ingredients and then add 1/4 cup distilled water.
Store in a bottle. Use as you would any shampoo, rinse well.

Compassion

I have been contemplating something I read recently. In the book "Mennonite in a Little Black Dress", the author returns home to the Mennonite community she grew up in due to some life and health problems she was dealing with.

I enjoyed the book because of the witty and sarcastic way the author writes. Her husband of 15 years left her for another man. Every time she brings it up in her storytelling she refers to the situation as "when my husband left me for a guy named Bob that he met on gay.com".

So there is a story she tells in her book about her husband's brother. He (and her husband) had a history of depression and mental disorders. Her brother in law committed suicide. His parents did not attend his funeral because they felt that what he did was a sin. The author felt compassion for this man and didn't understand how his parents could do this.

She discusses this idea that we have more compassion for strangers and people we don't know very well. The idea is because they have not hurt us. When a person has caused us pain then we feel less compassion for them.

I am intrigued by this idea and am inclined to believe this is true. Forgiveness is one of the most difficult tasks in this mortal life we live. We will invariably be hurt by many people in our life. I believe that most of this hurt is not intentional. But a circle of hurt, none the less.  We are all creatures trying to get our needs met. And when they are not met we feel emotional pain. When we are hurt, we hurt others.

The flip side of this is when we truly love and understand a person then we are more likely to have compassion for them. 

Interesting dilemma. What do you think?

Being June Cleaver

Got this cute vintage apron on my last visit to the thrift store. Felt like an old fashioned mom as I tied it around my waist (I was even wearing a dress....but not a house dress!) It must have magical powers because not only did I make dinner for my family, I whipped up a loaf of gingerbread and did the dishes. I thought it was so cute I wore it all afternoon. I almost forgot to take it off when I left the house to run an errand. How embarrassing would that have been?

The Three Two Year Olds in my Life

I admit I don't look like a grandma. When I am holding the hand of a two year old it may be more likely that I will be mistaken for the mother. 

I have been saying for years that I hope I will be a grandma in the next few years. This is not to say that I hope my children have children right now. Not one of them is emotionally or financially ready, and a couple are just downright too young.

But right now I'm having fun practicing and playing grandma to some pretty cute two year olds. Who knows, one or two of them may end up sticking around for awhile! 

Meet Cleo

jjjj

 

 Cleo can be kind of shy. She is petite, eats like a bird and loves cartoons. She is silly and makes me laugh!

Meet Koen

Eating dinner with his pliers

 

 

Koen is outgoing and eats anything. He loves tools and fixing things and playing soccer. He says the funniest things. And he loves coming to my house to play with Amos.

Meet Regan

 

 

Regan just turned two years old. She is learning new words everyday. She has an engaging personality and strangers love to interact with her. She loves my Savannah (who is her nanny) and calls her Fannah.

Yesterday we took Koen and met up with Savannah and Regan at PlaydatePDX. It was some hot and sweaty fun chasing these two year olds around. I wish Cleo had been there, too!

Regan and Koen at PlaydatePDX

Koen going down the slide

Savannah & Regan on the blue slide. Emilia on the yellow slide.

So fun!

Me and Regan.

 I love each of these darlings and feel so blessed that they let me shower them with kisses and hugs. And that their parents are willing to let me into their lives. They each have a piece of my heart now. But there's still room for more!

The Kelli/y's

I feel like I've whined about losing some really great friends who moved away. Each one has felt significant and I've mourned the loss, knowing the relationship will never be the same. For some reason these losses have felt bigger than they should have. I feel there must be a reason for this, but I don't fully understand why.

Kelly, baby C, Kelli, Kate

I met Kelly when I interviewed her to be my new apprentice. In hindsight, it was significant that my midwifery partner at the time, Kate, could not be at the interview so I did it myself. Kate would move away shortly after that. And I would evolve into a midwife that didn't have a partner and ended up liking it that way. And Kelly would evolve into being more than an apprentice through that journey with me.

This is what I remember about my first time meeting Kelly.
  ** She was wearing a brown skirt from Old Navy that I had hanging in my closet.
  ** She talked about hating running.

This is what is so funny about those two things.
  ** On more than one occasion she arrived at my door wearing almost the exact thing I was wearing and I would quickly change my clothes before our client arrived. I stopped wearing the brown Old Navy skirt for this reason. At a home visit I put on her fleece jacket and wondered why my keys were no longer in the pocket, because it was the same color and brand as mine. And a client's husband once asked us if that was our "uniform" because we were wearing such similar clothing.
  **That traitor ended up running the Portland Marathon. And I loved hearing about every detail of it.

I'm sure it was not easy for our clients to have two midwives with the same name. But no one complained. And we became the Kelli/y's, especially to our client's children. It was such an endearing term. As time went on we became more than teacher and apprentice. We grew as midwives and friends. We went through some hard things, both personally and professionally. And one thing I always knew was that no matter how much Kelly loved living in Portland, she missed her family in Ohio more. She struggled with where to settle and what she would have to give up no matter where she landed.

It was no surprise to me when her family decided it was time to go. And no surprise when things fell in place for that to happen, as they do when things are meant to be.

This is what was a surprise to me. How much we had in common. How much I relied on her. How much I took for granted that she lived right across the river. How hard it would be to say goodbye.

As she spent her last weeks saying goodbye to friends, crying, grieving, questioning, I spent the last few weeks trying to cheer her up and support her and deny that this was going to be the hardest goodbye of all. So in the last week, each time I saw her, I just made another plan to see her again. It was easier to serve her than it was to talk about her or to her.

The last thing I did for her was to clean out her refrigerator. I told her this was my least favorite job in the world. My own refrigerator at home, smelly and dirty. I hoped she knew this was how much I loved her. Because we didn't have that kind of relationship before, where we said I love you and how much I appreciate you and you are one of my best friends. But that's how it ended up.

And then it was time. Time to give a hug and say goodbye. Knowing this would certainly NOT be the last time we saw each other. And yet knowing that things would be different. But hopeful that the change would be good.

She is going to cry when she reads this. But that's not why I wrote it. I wrote it for me. Because it was time.

R, baby L, Megan, Kelli & Kelly

 In my office with my new apprentice, Megan and the Kelli/y's.

My Primary Class

When I was released from Young Women's a couple of months ago I thought my heart was going to break. I had worked with this group of young women for 41/2 years as a counselor and then as the president. I have such a deep love for them. The commitment of time and energy and love to these girls is unlike any other. I spent Sundays and Wednesday's with them at a minimum. I also had planning meetings. Not to mention they were always on my mind.

Then suddenly it was gone.

I'm not going to lie, one whole month without a calling felt indulgent. I needed that time off to recover emotionally. I didn't think I was ready to accept a new calling, but I was not surprised when it came. I am now teaching the 10-11 year old Sunday school class. I have a very large class, 8 boys and 3 girls who typically come. And a few are challenging.

But they are bright and energetic and I am having fun getting to know them. I have had to adapt my teaching to a new age group, which was a challenge at first. I'm beginning to get the hang of it, and I am even beginning to enjoy it. There is a little more room for fun with this age group.

And hey, I'm using candy to get what I want.

It works!

I bring a small jar of candy each week. If they bring their scriptures they get a piece. I also try to give them some kind of challenge (like memorizing a scripture) or homework assignment each week and if they accomplish it they get another piece. 

If they memorize all the books in the New Testament then they get their favorite full size candy bar. Some really like the challenge. Some could care less. But they are bringing their scriptures every week!

Here is a picture of them from this last Sunday. I had them act out the story of John the Baptist. Unfortunately half the class was missing, so they got to perform it for me. But it was still fun.

Lucy

She's so pretty!

When Amos and Lucy are in the same room together (actually, Lucy doesn't even need to be there) we love to call her name in a very lovey, dovey way. It drives Amos mad with jealousy. He stops whatever he is doing and looks all around for her and whines. It's so mean. And so funny!

Getting my Crafty On

Cutting the fabric into 6" squares

About 250 squares of fabric

Cutting the batting

Monica and Karen helping with the assembly

Squares all laid out

Planning the pattern

The strips are sewn together.

The strips being sewn together.

Finished! And someone else is snuggling MY blankie!

I wanted to learn something new and here it is.

While I was visiting my friend Karen she has some beautiful quilted blankets that she made that I just fell in love with. They looked simple enough to make so I decided I was going to give it a try. Good thing I waited until Karen was in town to help me. I don't think I could have figured it out on my own. I now think I'm ready with my new skills to try it on my own. There is already another blanket in the works! (Emilia's project this time.)

I learned quite a few things during this project:

* I love to craft. I have put it aside for far too long. Now I have several projects on the table and I am motivated to keep going.

* I thread the needle of the sewing machine with my left hand, even though I'm right handed. And I thread a regular needle with my right hand. Weird.

* I made a lot of mistakes that I know I won't make the next time.

* Quilting is messy. 

* I freaking love fabric. I get all excited in the fabric store, but I've never been able to indulge with no sewing skills. Watch out Craft Warehouse....Here I Come!

* It is more fun to take on a project with a friend.

* Being alone is good too. I got lost in the work.

* I'm crazy proud of this accomplishment.

* I never intended for the blanket to match my living room, but holy cow does it match! I guess I do like those colors.

New Year's Eve

Have you ever been so tired that you could not stay awake?

No matter what?!!!!

Even if it is New Year's Eve?

Even if you are at a party?

Even if that party was in your home

and you were the hostess?

Yes, I fell asleep.

Yes, it was before midnight.

Good thing my friends love me anyway. 

Because I was a true party pooper that night.