The last few days have been emotional.
Ok, it IS that time of the month, but that's not the only reason. There's been drama in the family. My life used to be FILLED to the brim with drama. I dumped that crap and have spent a good deal of energy healing and finding balance. When the crap comes back in I am sensitive to it's effects on me.
My midwifery community lost a friend yesterday. She was young (my age :). I went to high school with her, where we were both in the dance community, but we weren't close friends. In the midwifery community you don't have to be close friends to have a bond. The passion for the job is enough to bring you together with a deep caring. The fact that this woman died of a stroke, leaving a loving family motherless is heart wrenching to me.
I have friends in Haiti right now. Reading their stories fills me with sorrow and joy. The people of Haiti are joyful and gracious, but they are suffering beyond anything I can even imagine. I am nervous about going, yet I know I need to go and try to make a difference, to help just a little.
So after a good talk with a friend today, (who seems to always be available to me and willing to listen...thanks!) I feel much better and gained a great deal of perspective. I left the conversation filled with hope. I am working towards love to those who have offended. I am feeling strong about who I am and my family structure and our choices. I will tell myself every day that I can have love towards the people who hurt me, because I know they are hurting, too. And I KNOW this is NOT about me.
On the drive to a home visit I was enjoying the drive, enjoying the scenery and feeling good. I thought about my own midwife and how much she meant to me. I enjoyed our relationship and she holds a special place of honor in my heart and in our family. It made me appreciate my job so much! What a unique honor it is to be invited into the sacred bubble of birthing at home. Each family teaches me, touches me and I love them for the gifts they give me. And I felt joy at believing that some of them will think of me fourteen years from now and still remember that most amazing day of their baby's birth, and that I was a part of it. It's not about me! But I'm so glad I was there.
2 comments:
"It's not about me! But I'm so glad I was there." Well said!
And it's easy to always be available to listen to someone who also always seems to be available to listen.
I hope that made sense. I honestly can't figure out if it did :)
You are going to Haiti? When did all this come about? I hope you are OK, you seem sad and content all at the same time, is that possible? I love you!
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